The truth of the Always be yourself unless you can be a bat then always be a bat shirt matter is that there are people in the world who would be happy to help you and who would love you more than your parents could, but narcissistic parents do not want you to know that, because that means you will leave them and then they have no one to abuse and they lose a source of supply. That does not leave a lot of time to connect with their children, and many children fall to the wayside and feel neglected. This is especially true for less troublesome children. The louder kids get more attention while the quiet, well-behaved ones are overlooked because they don’t require as much monitoring. After working and cooking and cleaning all day, every day for years on end, people get a little tired.
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They are stressed out and Always be yourself unless you can be a bat then always be a bat shirt cranky and, more often than not, the parents will take this out on their children. It is not fair to keep on popping out children with the expectation that the older ones will help out. They were not involved in the decision-making process to have another child whatsoever, so they shouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of that decision. Children should be able to BE children when they are young. They shouldn’t have to take on adult responsibilities like child-rearing unless they make that decision themselves one day. The effects of delegating child-rearing to the older kids are nearly always negative, in my experience.
But when they no longer have an audience, they stop with the nice act. They either criticize or talk about others behind their back. Parents who are emotionally healthy love their children no matter what. When their children do something wrong they’ll punish them but it’s slonger till obvious to the children that they are loved. Narcissists don’t display love for their children. They don’t have the ability to love their children, so they will only give out conditional love, like when you are succeeding in something or when they can brag about you to their friends.