The louder kids get more attention while the I don’t care what anyone thinks of me except guinea pigs I want guinea pigs to like me shirt quiet, well-behaved ones are overlooked because they don’t require as much monitoring. After working and cooking and cleaning all day, every day for years on end, people get a little tired. They are stressed out and cranky and, more often than not, the parents will take this out on their children. Children, obviously, require a lot of patience, so this is not a good combination. Less-than-stellar parents may even come to resent their children for making them have to work so hard, which is even worse for the children to have to deal with. In very large families, it is common for the older kids to take care of the younger ones. I know a lot of people who actually list this as a benefit of having a large family.
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When their children do something wrong they’ll punish them but it’s still obvious to the I don’t care what anyone thinks of me except guinea pigs I want guinea pigs to like me shirt children that they are loved. Narcissists don’t display love for their children. They don’t have the ability to love their children, so they will only give out conditional love, like when you are succeeding in something or when they can brag about you to their friends. That’s when they’ll show you love and affection, but the minute you do something that embarrasses them or rebel against them, they will cut off your supply of love completely. They’ll give you the silent treatment and might even do underhanded things to get you back. You constantly feel like you have to make everyone happy in order to earn love.
The sense of shame is always there inside of you, making you feel like you’re not good enough. Narcissists see their children not as individuals but as extensions of themselves, so they see their children as their property. They don’t see their child as a thinking human being that deserves privacy and respect. So a narcissistic parent will always cross your boundaries, and that includes buzzing into your room without knocking, not respecting your privacy in the bathroom and so forth. You can imagine what goes on in the mind of a teenage girl when her mother forces her to take a virginity test in order to prove her sexual inactivity.