The louder kids get more attention while the I’m a social worker girl i was born with my heart on my sleeve a fire in my soul and a month i can’t control shirt quiet, well-behaved ones are overlooked because they don’t require as much monitoring. After working and cooking and cleaning all day, every day for years on end, people get a little tired. They are stressed out and cranky and, more often than not, the parents will take this out on their children. This is usually unintentional, but people are a lot less patient when they are overworked and their tempers are a lot shorter. Children, obviously, require a lot of patience, so this is not a good combination. Less-than-stellar parents may even come to resent their children for making them have to work so hard, which is even worse for the children to have to deal with. But when they no longer have an audience, they stop with the nice act. They either criticize or talk about others behind their back. Parents who are emotionally healthy love their children no matter what.
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When their children do something wrong they’ll punish them but it’s still obvious to the I’m a social worker girl i was born with my heart on my sleeve a fire in my soul and a month i can’t control shirt children that they are loved. Narcissists don’t display love for their children. They don’t have the ability to love their children, so they will only give out conditional love, like when you are succeeding in something or when they can brag about you to their friends. That’s when they’ll show you love and affection, but the minute you do something that embarrasses them or rebel against them, they will cut off your supply of love completely. They’ll give you the silent treatment and might even do underhanded things to get you back. You constantly feel like you have to make everyone happy in order to earn love.
A healthy parent controls their children for good, but a narcissistic parent will want to decide everything: your career, who you can date and when you can move out. When you start thinking for yourself and stop asking their validation, they start bullying you. Narcissist parents will do their best to keep their children in a child-like dependent state at all times. They don’t want their children to grow up and gain their independence because that means their children would go off on their own. And they can’t let that happen because how could they fill their supply from their children then?